September 26, 2022
Today we’re docked in Cologne and though I’d signed up for another castle tour, I opted to stay in town and do a walking tour instead.
Our guide was very tongue in cheek and his super power was to walk backwards most of the tour with the odd warning of upcoming obstacles from the crowd. Apparently Cologne was one of the most bombed areas during World War II. As a result there are lots of hybrid buildings where the ruins of the original buildings have been built upon. The Cathedral survived bombing as did some of the bridge. They are still finding bombs from WWII.
Apparently the citizens of Cologne have an interesting sense of humour – for instance, there is a building that we passed that is referred to as blue trash bag building a very easy landmark for us to find on our way back
Cologne also has the reputation as the most flooded city in Europe. In an attempt to protect themselves from the floodwaters there’s an 11 meter wall along the river and they also have additional safeguards in place. Often not enough.
On the little houses in the square, there are letters which are initials of the names of the owners, numbers which are the years when the foundation was built and symbols to identify whether or not the occupants had paid their fire insurance. I guess if you had a fire and hadn’t paid, you’d be hooped!
Our next whistle stop is the Schmitz Column; an homage to the most common name in Cologne. One story is that the ancient Roman legionaries would meet there with their local blonde Germanic girls. Their offspring were named Schmitz and are the ancestors of the Schmitz of Cologne. On the back of the column is a nod to Neil Armstrong’s walk on the moon.
Tünnee and Schäl are popular puppets representing fictional characters who embody typical traits of people from Cologne. The name Tünnes is Rheinish for Anthony or Antonius so maybe a bit of poking firm at the Romans. Tünnes is good natured and has a rural, farmer-type of common sense and cleverness. Schäl means two-faced in the Kölsch dialect.
The bronze monument of these two Cologne originals stands opposite a Romanesque church. Rub the thick nose of Tünnes for luck. Can’t hurt!
Next stop is a spot bearing the flag of Cologne. On the top are three crowns, representing the three holy kings (Kaspar, Melchior and Balthasar) who are buried in the Cologne cathedral. There are also 11 ermine tails, symbolising the 11.000 virgins of Saint Ursula.
According to a medieval legend, St Ursula and her 11 or maybe it was 11,000! virginal companions returned to Cologne from their pilgrimage to Rome just as the Huns were besieging the city. As soon as they disembarked, the Huns leapt upon them with savage cries and the massacre began. The leader of the Huns was willing to stop the massacre if Ursula would consent to marry him but she, of course, refuses and is martyred together with her companions.
We reach Market Square and City Hall. The clock here is unique. Under the clock is a face who’s tongue sticks out every hour. This was intended as an insult to the aristocracy. The clock tower was also important as a firewatch over the city.
Across from City Hall is a building famous for an argument between the roofer and the architect. The roofer was too lazy to come down to use the toilet and so he defecated in the rain gutter. The ass statue on the building is a homage to that boorish behaviour.
We also stopped at an ornate 19th-century fountain with sculptures commemorating a local legend about house gnomes; Heinzelmännchen. Legend says these hard-working helpers relieved every citizen of the city of a piece of tedious work overnight but they were very shy. One lady wanted to catch them working and put peas on the steps so she could hear them come, shone her lantern on them and they disappeared forever. I guess you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth!
We also passed a fountain with a statue of Jan von Werth in Market Square that dates to 1884. In the well-known story of Jan and Griet, the young and beautiful Griet rejects the servant (Jan) wooing her as a bad match. The latter then goes off to the Thirty Years’ War and becomes a successful general. On his return to Cologne, he marches triumphantly through town with his army where he sees his former great love, Griet, on the market. He takes off his hat and says, “Griet, who would have anybody!” and she answered him, “Jan, who could have known”. He gets on his horse and rides on.
We pass 4711 Eau de Cologne. Originally, eau de cologne was meant to be drank as a medicine. When the Code Napoleon was introduced if you sold something for ingestion you were required to put all the ingredients on label. Since the formula was a secret, they decided to promote it for topical use.
Our guide pointed out an old friend; a 10 sq cm brass plaque embedded in the cobblestones underfoot. There are now more than 70,000 memorial blocks aka “tripping stones” laid in more than 1,200 cities and towns across Europe. Each commemorates a victim outside their last-known freely chosen residence.
The inscription on each stone begins “Here lived”, followed by the victim’s name, date of birth, and fate: internment, suicide, exile or, in the vast majority of cases, deportation and murder. The plaques are all hand made in contrast to industrial killing machine of the Nazis. People adopt the stones to keep them repaired and clean.
Cologne is also home to some Roman artifacts including a road which was rebuilt (but not as well!), a wall and a 2000 mosaic in the museum here.
The piece de resistance of the tour was the Cologne Cathedral (Cathedral Church of St. Peter) which opened in 1880 and was for a short time (4 years) the highest building in the world. Being close to the railway station, it was hit by 14 bombs during WWII but wasn’t totally destroyed because of some design features. Some fun facts about the Cathedral; Napoleon used it for storage and stables for horses. St. Peter’s bell rings only eight times a year on Christian holidays.
After looking around the church some folks opted for shopping and snacks while the rest of us headed back to the boat.
After a few games of cards, we headed to lunch before nap time.
Dinner was again a scrumptious feast and then we headed back to the lounge for more drinking and debauchery. We even managed to share the bottle of local melon liquor that we’d won playing movie trivia earlier in the week. My liver needs a vacation!
Time to crash. Tomorrow is another day. Luxurious adventures await…
Judy’s Rambles 